Article by Capt. Mark Sampson
The other day, I had a guy aboard my charter boat crawling around the cockpit with a paper towel to wipe up some cola that he spilled. I told him not to worry about cleaning it up, but he insisted, claiming that he didn’t want to leave a sticky mess on the deck. Thinking about how considerate it was for him to be worried about a little Coke on a fiberglass deck and how much of a switch his actions were from some of the folks who come aboard and absolutely trash the boat inside and out, I jokingly suggested that he must be vying for the “Client of the Year Award.” My comment prompted someone else to ask me what traits might help put them in the running for such an honor.
I think my answer sounded something like, “You’d have to be rich enough to book us seven days a week, pay even when we don’t go out, and never complain when we don’t catch fish.” Of course, I’ve never met a person who conforms to those standards and doubt I ever will, but in 30-some years of working this charter gig I’ve certainly had my share of clients who have been an absolute joy to have aboard as well those who, shall I say, were more than a bit “challenging” to spend a day on the water with!
The good, the bad, and the ugly - we get them all on charter boats and while every captain has their own definition of what qualities make for a “perfect client”, I came up with a short list of things that can make some of us happy to see a client walking toward our boat in the morning balanced by what might have some of us breathing easier when we “finally” watch them walking away in the afternoon.
Don’t trash the boat!
I sometimes get the impression that certain folks think that at the end of the day some professional cleaning service comes aboard and makes everything sparkle again. The cleanup crew is my mate and myself, and believe me, we know who it was that left the pile of peanut shells in the cup holder, the smashed donut under the table and the head in ugly (yuck) condition. We don’t harp on our clients about these things because we want them to have a good time while they’re out on the boat with us so they’ll come back next year, and cleaning the boat at the end of the day is what we do. It’s just a little perplexing when we have someone who makes absolutely no effort to clean up their own mess. My perfect client would always pick up after themselves.
Be careful with the equipment.
Most folks are very, if not “overly” careful with the tackle and other equipment they use aboard the boat. And that kind of concern for the tools of our trade is always appreciated by those of us who not only have to purchase it, but also maintain it in good working order so it can be used every day. Some folks, however, are not so gentle with our tackle and put enough of a hurting on whatever rods and reels they use that we have to spend extra time putting things back together. A perfect client would always be careful with the tackle and equipment we use on the boat.
Alcohol would not be an issue.
Every captain wants their clients to have a safe and enjoyable time on the water, and if having a beer or two or three during the course of the day adds to their enjoyment then that’s usually just fine. However, when someone takes it to the point that alcohol is affecting their words, judgment or actions, then it becomes a problem. More important than catching fish and driving the boat is the captain and crew’s responsibility to keep their clients safe at all times. Having one or more clients who are not firing on all cylinders only adds additional concerns to a crew’s already busy and stressful day. Not too many people “enjoy” dealing with others who have had too much to drink. It’s even worse when you’re responsible for their well-being and stuck on a boat with them all day! The perfect client would enjoy their time on the water so much that they would not want it to be altered or impaired by alcohol.
Prepared for seasickness
No one wants to see their clients seasick, but we all know that in the course of the season we will have many-many people yacking over the side of the boat. This not only makes us feel sorry for their misery, but also because it’s bad for business – a seasick client might not be a returning client. Some people are just prone to getting sick and others bring it upon themselves by partying it up too much the night before. For a lot of people, the chances of becoming sick can be minimized if they take precautions. Dramamine works for a lot of people and the Scopolamine “patch” works for most. Getting a good (sober) rest the night before improves everyone’s chances of holding down their breakfast. The perfect client will take precautions to help ensure that they, and the rest of their party, don’t have their day ruined by seasickness.
Too much “stuff”
We run a lot of half-day fishing trips and I’m sometimes amazed at how much gear some folks think they need to bring along for just five-hours. It’s even worse on full-day trips! I always recommend that folks bring what they know they will need and use while we are out there, but leave behind all the “just in case” stuff that only clutters up the boat. I’ve had people bring large pillows, blankets, folding chairs, enough tackle to fill a tackle shop, computers, guitars, drones, pets, empty coolers and enough food and drink to feed an army! It’s always a hassle to spend the day tripping over or working around extra stuff that was brought aboard but never used. The perfect client brings only what they will truly need for the time they’ll be on the boat.
The end of the trip
When we get back to the dock, my mate and I have an entire boat to clean and a lot to get ready for our trip tomorrow. It’s not uncommon for our clients to wait until the boat is in the slip and tied up before they get up out of the seats or off the bunks and start packing up their gear. It’s not that we want to rush them off the boat, it’s just that we have a lot of work ahead of us, and if they can use a little of the ride-home time to get their gear in order so the transition from boat to dock doesn’t take a half hour, it can help us finish our duties and maybe get home at a somewhat reasonable time in the evening. The perfect client would show consideration for our end of the day workload.
Be prepared NOT to catch fish
Fishing is fishing, and no matter who or how good the captain and crew are at what they do, or how much money was paid for a charter, there is always a chance that a trip will not produce even a single fish. Getting “skunked” is as disappointing to the crew as it is to the anglers they take out. The perfect client will recognize that the crew did their best to get them on the fish and take it in stride that today just wasn’t their day.
Of course, nobody’s perfect, and none of us charter guys can or should expect that any or all of our clients will fit into the mold we cast exactly the way we would like. I’m guessing as well that if our clients were all “perfect” our jobs wouldn’t be as interesting as they sometimes are. I’m also guessing that my discussion of the “perfect client” has prompted some folks to consider what qualities the “perfect captain” would possess, and I’d like to hear those thoughts and, if possible, do a story from that angle in a week or so. If anyone would like to share with me their thoughts on that issue in a short narrative they can do so by emailing me at - [email protected]. The names of those who make comments will NOT be published in the story.
Capt. Mark Sampson is an outdoor writer and captain of the charter boat, “Fish Finder”, docked at the Ocean City Fishing Center.
