Article by Capt. Mark Sampson
When I’m running fishing charters I don’t have the option of choosing who I’ll spend the day with. But when it comes to “personal” fishing the choice of a fishing partner can be a consideration that’s critical to my enjoyment of the trip. And since I don’t get the opportunity to fish just for “fun” as much as I’d like to, when those days come along, I want to make the most of them and that means fishing with someone whom I enjoy spending time with even when we aren’t fishing, and in my case that would be my wife, Charlotte.
Although a lot of women are content to do things other than fish, there’s no doubt that if they wish to, women are just as capable of excelling at fishing as any man. But, too often men miss opportunities to welcome their spouses into their world of fishing because they consider the sport so much of a “guy-thing,” and angling becomes something a husband does when he goes off with his buddies, not his wife. All that is good if the wife is absolutely not interested in fishing, but I can’t help but wonder if the lack of interest in fishing is often a result of not being properly introduced to it. I’ve noticed that men can be very patient when it comes to teaching their kids or friends about fishing, but too often the same courtesy is not afforded to their wife. At times it’s almost as if the men don’t want their wives to go fishing with them.
Introducing a woman to fishing in such a way that she not only puts up with it but actually “enjoys” the process and looks forward to going again can require an entirely different approach than a guy might be accustomed to when he’s out fishing with the “boys.” Just because some men might allow their social manners to slack when they’re fishing “stag” doesn’t mean that it’s still going to be OK to carry on the tradition when women are aboard. A lot of women will feel a bit awkward and out of place when they take their first steps into what is typically considered to be mostly a man’s territory, and guys shouldn’t do anything to perpetuate such myths. It would be wrong to think that most women would take it as a compliment to be welcomed into the world of fishing by being treated like just like one of the guys. Being rude and crude around a woman is just as wrong aboard a boat as it is anywhere else.
When possible, it might be best to leave the guys behind and fish with just the wife or perhaps with her and another couple until she feels more comfortable and confident with her new activity. Needless to say the type of fishing shouldn’t be physically draining or demanding. Spending 12-hours on a boat 60-miles offshore on a hot choppy day is not a good way to decide if you like fishing anymore than standing along some marsh bank knee deep in mud and slapping mosquitoes would be. Whether or not a boat is equipped with a head (bathroom) must also be taken into account when taking women fishing. I know some folks with small boats who have solved the problem by always keeping a 5-gallon bucket and a poncho aboard. Even in the middle of the bay with other boats around, a guy or gal can don the poncho and sit on the bucket. I know it sounds kind of awkward and funny but it’s a clever way to handle a common predicament.
Men who take their wives fishing should also keep in mind that there will be tasks that they might not be physically capable of doing, or that they would prefer not to do. When my wife and I are fishing offshore, I’m going to be the one who goes up on the bow to pull the anchor and if we’re dealing with large fish that require any kind of wrestling around on deck or alongside the boat, it’ll likely be me doing it. When it comes to cutting the bait and cleaning the catch, that too will likely be done by me, although if necessary she’s always willing to lend a hand. Oftentimes, I’ll even bait her hooks and de-hook fish for her. Again, it’s not that she can’t or won’t do these things for herself, it’s just that when the two of us are fishing we enjoy working as a team and since we know each others strengths and weaknesses it’s only natural to help each other out.
Most of all, men who want to get their wives interested in fishing must BE PATIENT and not get snappy with them. Remember that fishing is supposed to be “fun” and not a time to get ticked off with your partner because she makes a mistake or isn’t as adept at fishing as you think maybe she ought to be. Remember, most of us started fishing when we were kids and learned how to tie knots, cut bait and net a fish over a period of many years and we also goofed up a lot along the way. We can’t expect a spouse who is new to fishing to have it down pat after just a few trips.
Having your wife as a fishing partner is a great way to spend quality time together while forging memories that will last a lifetime. It also frees us from the guilt of leaving our spouse back home when we’re out having a great time. We know how much fun it is to go fishing – why in the world wouldn’t we want to share such times with the one we love? With enough practice anyone can learn to become a “good” fisherman, but having the skill, determination and patience to teach someone else how to fish is the mark of a “great” fisherman. Give your wife time to learn, laugh-off her mistakes, revel in her successes and you’ll cultivate the best fishing buddy you’ve ever had!
Captain Mark Sampson is an outdoor writer and captain of the charter boat “Fish Finder”, docked at the Ocean City Fishing Center.
